i just had sex bonerless
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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