I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
