Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
