The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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