So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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