I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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