Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
