You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
