the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
how drunk are you?
Several
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize