I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
