I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
