so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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