therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
our cab driver is having phone sex.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
