Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
