you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
