well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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