Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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