is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
