if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
its liver damage thursday
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
