Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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