My first STD was from a foam party
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
