you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
