This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize