I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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