And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
