I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You're a disaster
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