Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
