1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
