pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
