Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
