Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
