if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize