He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
