"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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