I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
