what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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