my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
