she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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