Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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