I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
