you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
