i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize