i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
