You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
