8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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