We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
