Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
did you just send me my own nude
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
