Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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