so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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