You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
