me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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