That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
