The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
