So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
