we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
