paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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