Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
