Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
