I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Me too!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
